I know not everybody aligns with faith or spirituality, and that is fine. As the author of this site, I do identify as a Christian. I am not going to shy away from saying that. However, this is not a post on religion, spirituality, or aligning with a certain one. It is a part of the Wellness series that really breaks down different areas of what makes us well. Some of you may consider this and think about adding it to your Wellness journey. Others may not visit this dimension, and that is OK. It is not required to make you well. What I do want to emphasize is that if you find that you are struggling and you have not been a person who has been engaging in your faith or you have not been aligning with the spirituality that you align with, so crystals, nature, connecting with ancestors, like anything that really aligns with you. Your faith and your values may not be aligning.

Additionally, know that this is not a guilt post either. So, if you have not really had the time to invest in your faith or spirituality as much, this is not a post that is supposed to make you think you should be focusing on that because that is not what this should be about. That does not enhance your Wellness. 

How Can Faith and Spirituality Make Me Well? 

Often when we consider faith and spirituality, we may think of them as values that our parents have instilled in us, rather than accepting them as our own. Honestly, that is fair. Our parents, our caregivers, have a considerable influence on how we view the world. However, we also have a lot of control as to how we choose to reframe our worldview once we get into our adulthood. I know some people experience religious trauma and so they tend to pull away from faith or spirituality practices because it is not something that aligns well with them. For others, they were not allowed to have conflicting differences in their families, and they never really found value in spirituality or religion, or faith of any type. However, for individuals who really strive to have a connection and a purpose in life. Sometimes faith and spirituality are that outlets. Does that mean that people who do not have faith or spirituality do not have a purpose in life? Absolutely not. What it means is that for some people, when they do not feel connected to their faith it has a negative impact. Essentially your values and your faith are not well aligned.

What Do Values Have to Do with This? 

I have mentioned values a lot. In this blog already, values are something that when we are not living within them can have a detrimental effect on our mental health. If you're not living by your values, it can have a bad effect on your mental health. For example, if you're a high achiever and you value success and accomplishment, but you're not acting in line with those values by getting work done or showing up for your groups and organizations, you may find yourself losing steam, becoming anxious, or having low moods. That could have an enormous impact on our mental well-being because then we find ourselves getting burnt out because we do not have joy. We really must be intentional about how we live in our values because people often do not connect their values to their mental Wellness but is a big part of our functioning and our well-being.  

So How Do I Use Faith and Spirituality with My Values? 

This is a loaded question because I cannot simply say act within your values and then suddenly like everything just turns out peachy keen. That is just not how life works. And to some extent, you could have the willpower to just course correct. However, let’s think about it from this perspective. Imagine that you are, really depressed, or you are incredibly anxious, or you are feeling stressed, or you do not feel like you have honored something that you should have. If you have been in that place, you know just how challenging it is to pull yourself back into reality and try to do the task you should have been doing all along. And I say “should” with quotations.

We can put a lot of guilt on ourselves whenever we do not:

• pray to Lord

• go to church

• connect with our ancestors

• use our crystals

• And so on

• This does not help you to feel like you are back in line with your spirituality and your faith and your religion. Oftentimes, shame and guilt hold us back from going back to where we were. So what we must do is slowly integrate ourselves back into our values. It also means we have to reflect on how we can effectively live within those values. So, for example, I am a Christian and for me a big part of it is prayer. When I do not pray for a long time, I feel guilty. And when I do pray, sometimes it is because something is not going right. And so then I feel even more guilty for not being able to pray in good and tough times.

  For others, they may connect with their ancestors, and for them to feel connected and it will not, the ancestors sometimes have to do with achieving goals of following the mission that their ancestors have put before them, and so whenever we do not do that. You know, it is hard to just jump back in. So for those individuals, it may be formatting a plan and revisiting what those steps have been for you. And so on. I could go in depth by every faith, every religion, every spirituality, but the truth of the matter is if we are not connecting with things that give us peace and joy and meaning and purpose, we are not going to feel as connected in our lives.

  So what do we need to do?

  It is slowly integrating us back into. Our faith and our values that go along with that, and spirituality and how we uphold that in our lives. And that means being self-compassionate and kind of patient with us, knowing that we are not going to be the most spiritual person or the most aware awake. Person. In the world suddenly. It is going to take time. 

So What Can I Do In the Meantime? 

If you are struggling to get yourself back to where you were, reach out to a friend. Go to church. Write things down in a journal. Do something that feels hard, but achievable. Whenever we have small wins. Even if the process was not easy, it helps to reinforce our self-efficacy. And what that allows us to recognize is that if we can have proficiency skills in certain areas, we realize that we have more capability to get back where we were. We often fall short whenever we expect ourselves to just get right back to 100 more about at 30. So be kind to yourself. Be patient. And know that with all things, it just takes time, patience, and compassion. If you are trying to get back into prayer. Think about using the Lord's prayer. Remember how Jesus taught us how to pray? 

What’s Next?  

If you are wondering what is next. I would take time to pause and begin thinking more about your Wellness what is working and what is not working. Truly being well is about balance. It is not about having 100% marked off in every category. Again, that is how we get burnt out and overly stress ourselves. If you are not sure that you are living within your values and you are really struggling. A health and Wellness coach can help you. It is not about being told what to do and how to fix it. Instead, a health Wellness coach is here to provide you the support that you need to feel empowered to make a change in your life. Change happens in various stages. Sometimes we are more ready, sometimes we are not. And that is OK. If you just need to have a conversation. A coach can help you if you are ready to make a commitment to making long-term changes, great coaching is right up your alley or whatever you need. Contact Black. Bold. & Learning for additional support or questions. ( And remember this is not a replacement for help from a licensed mental health professional).