Young Adulthood is Chaotic and Confusing!

Adulting can be tough, especially for Black and BIPOC high-achieving women who are often held to high expectations by society. We may feel like we have it all together, but the truth is, we're all just faking it to some extent. We've been taught to pursue academic success, but we haven't been taught how to navigate the real world. This lack of preparation can leave us feeling overwhelmed and stressed.

It's not just about getting good grades or earning degrees. We need to know how to build a resume that will get us hired, how to pay back student loans, and how to manage our finances. These are the practical skills that will help us succeed in the real world. Without them, we may find ourselves struggling to make ends meet or feeling like we're not living up to our potential.

As Black and BIPOC women, we face unique challenges in the workplace and in society as a whole. It's important for us to be aware of these challenges and to develop the skills and confidence we need to overcome them. We need to learn how to advocate for ourselves, how to build supportive networks, and how to navigate complex social and political systems.

Each generation has its own story and struggles, despite this, we have to be compassionate with one another.

As we navigate through life, it can be challenging to block out the narrative of generations past about how things "should be." We need to honor our own unique individualized path and realize that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to adulting. It's important to recognize that we all have different timelines and priorities. Some may choose to get married and have kids early on, while others may take a different path and prioritize other things first, like paying off student loans or building a career.

Furthermore, it's crucial to acknowledge that our journeys are not always easy. Some of us may have more support than others, and some may face more adversity along the way. It's not fair to compare our progress to others because we all have different circumstances and challenges to overcome.

As a 24-year-old myself, I understand the pressure to have it all together and be financially stable so soon. However, it's important to remember that adulting is a process and that we should focus on progress, not perfection. We can't expect to have it all together right away or in the same manner as others. We need to embrace our individual journeys, celebrate our accomplishments, and learn from our mistakes as we continue to grow and evolve.

Let’s think about our priorities developmentally…

As a Clinical Mental Health Counselor (PLPC), I often consider the developmental tasks that individuals are facing at different stages of their lives. According to Erik Erikson's theory, the task of a young adult is to establish meaningful relationships, explore their identity, and develop a sense of community. However, it's important to note that this process looks different for everyone.

For example, in my own life, I am currently single and balancing the demands of being a working professional while finishing my graduate studies. Over the past year, I have also taken significant steps towards becoming more independent, managing my own living costs, and meeting my own needs. Meanwhile, others in my circle are just starting to navigate things like car insurance, health insurance, or working full-time, while some are prioritizing therapy and building stronger relationships, or creating space from their families.

It's crucial to recognize that there is no "right" way to approach these tasks and that each person's journey will look different. We all have unique circumstances and challenges to overcome, and it's essential to give ourselves the space and time to navigate these challenges in our own way. By embracing our individual journeys, we can focus on personal growth and build the skills we need to thrive as we move through different developmental stages in life.

The truth is…

We are seeking love and connection, but we are also setting boundaries, becoming more responsible, finding a person, and seeking love. Just because someone is less or more independent doesn’t mean that are not on the “right” path that others perceive doesn’t mean failure, we are all simply seeking guidance for the next steps of life. Some people I know how kids and are married. I couldn’t even imagine being there as that is not my path.

The past few years have been rough

I want to shed light on two major issues that have plagued the job market for over a decade and have been worsened by the pandemic. Many of us are still recovering from the pandemic, which has impacted the economic and job markets. The class of 2020 and many Gen-Z/in-betweeners have jumped straight into an economic pitfall, making it difficult to attain the post-college life we anticipated. Additionally, the major job market decline that occurred between 2007-2010 impacted many millennials who had expectations of finishing school and immediately landing jobs or buying homes. Unfortunately, these expectations were not met, and many millennials now struggle with the cost of living and buying a house.

We, as BIPOC high-achieving women, are not lazy or not planning for our future. We are working hard to succeed in a world that often does not provide us with equal opportunities or resources. We are navigating seasons of sudden change that require years for the economy and the lives and expectations of others to recover. Despite our best efforts, we cannot always prepare for everything.

Furthermore, the pandemic has worsened body image and disordered eating for many people, especially BIPOC high-achieving women. The pandemic-induced stress and anxiety, along with social isolation and decreased physical activity, have led to an increase in disordered eating behaviors. It's essential to prioritize our mental and physical health during this time and seek support if needed. Remember, it's okay not to have it all together, and we are all doing our best in the midst of chaos. Now that we have established that, what now?

One way that I operate as a way to manage chaos and uncertainty is this. Checking in on my 8 dimensions of wellness to see where stress, anxiety, depression, or trauma may be showing up. This isn’t a comprehensive checklist to make sure they are all in line all at once. Rather, it's to give you some perspective on how you may operate from each dimension of wellness during seasons of abundance, versus seasons of struggle. Our level of wellness can heavily impact our ability to function and grow toward our purpose.

What Are The Eight Dimensions of Wellness?

• Emotional / Mental.

• Environmental.

• Financial.

• Intellectual.

• Occupational.

• Physical.

• Social.

• Spiritual.

If you’re ready to dive into each dimension of wellness, this mini crash course on managing the chaos can really help. Come back and check out each dimension we dive into and share with some friends if you feel that could use this support!

Welcome to Black.Bold.&Learning, a community dedicated to supporting Black and BIPOC women in their personal growth and development.

We provide a range of resources, including webinars, courses, coaching sessions, and blogs, to help you live your best life.

At Black.Bold.&Learning, our mission is to empower Black and BIPOC women to overcome body image issues, disordered eating, and burnout through personalized coaching and support. We understand the unique challenges faced by Black and BIPOC women and provide a safe and supportive environment to explore personal growth and development.

Join our community of strong, empowered women and gain access to exclusive resources, such as webinars covering topics like boundaries, communication, and relationships. Our courses are designed specifically for WOC and BIPOC women and focus on overcoming burnout and building resilience. Our personalized coaching sessions are led by a certified Black life coach and focus on executive coaching, personal development, and self-discovery.

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